Wednesday, 5 February 2014

when crustaceans are hungry

when crustaceans are hungry
they eat themsels
fae the inside oot
right up tae thir shells
uh uh uh
an when am eh gettin ma money
eh dinnae like to be rude
sjist ehve been workin
sae hard fir sae lang

uh uh uh
ehm haein problems
piyin these bills
three bairns in tow
its no easy
when yer caught in the trap
stuck in the pigpen
wadin through crap

uh uh uh
eh ken you weeains
admired meh doagfuck
eh ken you ken
ehve nae rogue luck
but the thing is
you aa seem tae be able
tae piy yer bills
eh ken yir hauns are tied
but ehm strugglin here

uh uh the boy doon the road
he hung hesel
when blockies went doon the tubes
christ whit a terrible shame
eh wish eh could o spoke tae him
tellt him no tae
grabbed him beh the shidders
Shook oot the gloom
fed him brakefast
gied him a room

he wiz young
hid nae dependants
ehm aulder
an never hid a joab
in the first place

an ehm startin tae worry

uh uh well eh say ehm startin
It Startit a lang time ago
when thir wiz this bird
shwiz lanky an ginger
wwir baith blind drunk
an when wnecked in the flat
the taste an smell
o tomato soup
o it wiz unholy

eh grinned an bore it
that affy smell
coz wi baith enjoyed oorsels
sae well
fair well
wbaith enjoyed wersels sae much
wbaith decided that
th th that 
wid niver get in touch

thats when meh brain
evicted aw they crabs
till aw they bills
came again thiday
now whaurs meh money
that wiz up fir grabs

when crustaceans are hungry
they devoor themsels
is that no ringin any bells
what do ye think
meh brens like now honey
efter aw they bills
an still nae money
meh joab wiz done
tellin ye aboot the fella
the auld broon pipe
an the can o stella
an that ginger lassie
smellin o heinz
but still fair sassie
now gie me whit ehm owed
an whit ehve bin due
if no tae finish
at least tae continue
wbaith enjoyed wersels
 sae much
sae well
a watergaw appeared in hell

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